My love for Carrie Fisher is unconditional.
I didn’t know her and I never got to meet her. I had so many chances over the years that I now have so many regrets. I did, however, get to be in the same room as her at Star Wars Celebration V in Orlando, FL. And I can honestly say that she brought with her a unique and dominating presence that both scared and delighted you. She was so self-assured in her tone and body language that it was almost intimidating. This woman who had been through so much had the ability to captivate you while also making you laugh uncontrollably. Her humor was unique and self-deprecating and I will miss her forever.
For anyone who may have not known too much about Carrie or her life, I’d recommend watching the HBO documentaries Wishful Drinking and Bright Lights, as well as reading the Wishful Drinking autobiography and The Princess Diarist, which was released roughly a month before she passed. Other recommendations would include her semi-autobiography Postcards from the Edge and watching any Star Wars Celebration panel she’s featured in on YouTube (they are absolutely hilarious).
Her writings over the years have inspired me to be confident in my own writing and in my own life. The reason Carrie is so beloved, besides playing one of the most recognizable characters in film, is her openness regarding mental health. I deal with a lot of anxiety every day, I have never been diagnosed with anything, so I will refrain from attempting to label myself. However, I do know that I don’t feel as alone when I read about someone else’s struggles and Carrie spoke a lot about her struggles. She desperately wanted to put an end to the stigmas that surrounded mental illness and its treatments.
I felt like writing about Carrie because she’s in the news again. I didn’t want to discuss what most outlets are talking about because it’s not really important. Carrie Fisher was a Queen. For all her faults and all her flaws and everything that made her human, she was able to survive a lot of traumatic experiences. She was able to pick up her head and take back her life, even if it was just for a period of time.
In the end, she lost.
I know that she not only inspired me and countless others, but she will continue to inspire for years to come. It won’t just be Star Wars fans, but little girls, and people who suffer from mental illness and addiction. Her openness will save people. So, maybe… she won after all.
Rest In Peace, Carrie Fisher. Thank you for all that you did while you were here, for constantly fueling my “fuck off” attitude, and the inspiration to wear lots of glitter no matter the occasion.